The World of Raphaela

I shall let you into the world of Raphaela. It is an interesting world, full of eccentricities, interesting characters, art and whimsy.

Let me tell you a story. My daughter and I were invited to have a playdate at somebody’s home a while back. Now, this lady is the antithesis of me. She is cautious and serious and worked in book-keeping. As the children played outside, she confided that she was concerned about her job security and was considering going into business by herself. “What do you think of this idea?” she asked. “I could import American Dolls, and sell them in Australia.” She said it in a whisper, as though she didn’t want the children to hear. Now what she was proposing wasn’t my cup of tea at all, but I wanted to encourage her. “You could talk to my old neighbour! She has a sex toy business that she runs on the internet! You should see what she sells! “ I then went off on a tangent, describing the unbelievable curiosities that tumble out of her online store, unaware of the mother’s eyes widening in horror. “Perhaps you two could come to some arrangement,” I smiled. “I was referring to a child’s toy, not a vibrator!” she snapped. Awkward silence ensued until I did the walk of shame back to my car.

This episode reminded me of when my daughter was a toddler. I had been to the chemist and absent-mindedly filled in an entry form for a competition. Several weeks later, the chemist rang. “Congratulations! You have won a car!” the young girl said. She mentioned it would be ready for pickup at the end of the week. I was ecstatic and texted everyone in my phone to share the happy news. I was asked what kind of car I had won, and I thought, ‘who cares?! It’s enough that I won!’ I imagined that it would be waiting in the carpark at the back of the pharmacy when the day arrived. Perhaps it would be adorned with a big red bow. I was asked to wait a minute inside the pharmacy and they brought out a flat-pack, smiling all the while. “Um, what is this?” I asked. “The toy sports coupe that you won. imagesUnfortunately you will have to assemble it,” they beamed. You can imagine the teasing that transpired when I had to tell everybody that I had misunderstood the prize! My daughter was delighted with her win!

There was also the time I caught head lice from my daughter when she was at school, and I was so busy, I didn’t know I had them. I was attending a function with a media heavy-hitter when I felt something crawling through my hair. I was desperate to scratch, but thought better of it. My friend noticed something in my fair hair and pulled it out. She then noticed another spot and then another. They had legs and were moving! Thankfully she was a good friend and we had a giggle. “You know you have to slow down when you don’t realize you have head lice!” she said. I was literally too busy to scratch myself!

Recently, I received a lovely call by a lady who called herself Lizzie. Now I know Lizzie very well or at least one of them.  I asked about events associated with her current life. “What has happened to your Texan accent?” I asked, intrigued. “Today you sound Celtic!” There was a silence as she tried to process my query. “Anyway,” Lizzie continued, “let’s meet up soon.” “Lovely darling,” I answered, before hanging up. I have no idea who she is nor what she looks like! My Texan Lizzie thought it hilarious when I told her. “I spent thirty minutes chatting away, thinking I was talking to you!” I have introduced two families to each other down the street, successfully getting everyone’s names wrong. That is why I call everyone ‘darling!’ Nobody is onto me, surely! I shouldn’t be let out unsupervised!

Raphaela Angelou