I will never forget the moment my friend quietly asked me if there was something wrong with her. “Why is all this stuff happening to me; am I creating it?” This lady was a single mum, and had been through hell. No family support, and inconsistent work. She was moving house, and the real estate she was renting from wanted her out despite the new place not being ready. There were issues with landlords, with work and with utility suppliers. She was worn out, and ready to fall in a heap.
I looked at my beautiful friend, downcast eyes the hue of sapphires, and thought about what she had asked. “Hell no! There is nothing wrong with you! In fact, it would be egotistical to believe that you are responsible for other people’s behaviour. It would make you a master of the universe! People can behave appallingly if they are coming from ego and greed. You would never behave in such a way! You come from a place of kindness.”
It is true, that bad stuff can happen to good people, and it isn’t at all helpful to be told that you attracted it. People reveal their true selves over time; no wonder you couldn’t see a toxic person for what they truly were upon first meeting them. It’s how we recover to construct a life out of the disassembled pieces that truly matters.
I have been so poor that I have lived on potatoes for weeks on end. I have had dental issues and haven’t been able to get them seen to. I have had my heart broken, and been lonely. I have seen my dreams collapse despite working like a Trojan. I envisioned that I would have many children, and be somewhere entirely different by this stage of my life. I’m not, and that’s okay. I was detoured by the machinations of others. It wasn’t personal, nor anything to do with me. They were on their own path, devoid of empathy. Ultimately, it won’t make them happy. Narcissistic behaviour turns on it’s owner.
I know what it’s like to be left with a pile of rubble; the depression that follows. You cry and are despondent, and then you start the clean-up. Shards of mirror are glued together and it becomes more beautiful than what you started with. More authentic, more reflective… You may not want to move, but your lease is up and the landlord wants to move in. Taking a deep breath, you are propelled forward, and you need to believe that you are getting closer to stability with each move. Manifesting can be achieved separately from what others have planned for your life. We are at the mercy of others at times, but they can’t do a thing to destroy your secret longings.
Dream boards are useful tools-a touchstone if you will- to visually reinforce what you want in your life. I look back on some I created years ago, and it has all come to pass. Learning to meditate or at least relax, is essential, particularly when you feel as though you are being blown about like an autumn leaf. Good people have trying times and unwanted change. Do all you can practically, and then focus on what it is that you do want. What are your values? If you value serenity and space, move out of town. If you value the ocean or being close to the city, downsize if that’s what it takes for you to afford it. If you secretly desire to write or act, do so after work by taking a course or starting a blog. Start small, where you are and with what you have. Little steps bring big results over time.
There is much out of all our control, but we are the masters of our dreams. Nobody can take them from us. Go ahead and write a list of yours, and develop a plan of action. It may take time, but dreams are worth pursuing! They are independent of everyone else, that is what makes them precious.